Ten years...

I can hardly believe it's been ten years. Ten years since I last saw your face. Ten years since I last got my hand smacked for touching your fabulous hair. Ten years since I last heard your voice or your laugh. I'm so upset with myself because I can't remember what your voice sounds like. It's been ten years since our last hug, our last shopping trip, our last dinner at The Shell Factory. It's been ten years since the last time you told me to sit up straight or take my hair out of a ponytail or file my nails. It's because of you that I always wear my hair down, because of how much you loved my long hair. It's been ten years. Ten years without you and so many more years without you in them. I'm thankful for the fourteen years we did have together and the memories we made. I wish I could say your absence doesn't make me cry anymore. That knowing my babies will never know you doesn't hurt. But it does still hurt and that's ok. It's ok to be sad. It's ok for me to look back and mourn. But I look back and also see years of happiness and love. I love you Grandma Shirlee, and I always will. 

 

January 23, 2010

January 23, 2010 was a day I'd looked forward to for so long! I would finally walk down the aisle to marry the man I'd been in love with for the last four years. We dated for four years before finally got married. And now here we are married for four years :) I looked forward to that day with such anticipation and when it arrived I was in ecstasy. It was so perfect and magical and it was the happiest day of my life. At least I thought it was the happiest day of my life, until August 14, 2011, when we found our family was growing by one :) but then April 8, 2012 rolled around and THAT was the happiest day of my life--little Caden was born. But once May gets here and little Isla is born I will have two happiest days :) 

But back to my wedding...our wedding was wonderful and so fun. It was perfect to be able to celebrate our special day with so many loved ones (we were married in Arizona rather than Alaska since flying to Alaska isn't an option for so many). But better than the wedding is life I get to spend with my best friend. He's not perfect and I'm not perfect but we're perfect for each other. Happy anniversary Nathaniel. I've loved you these last four years (actually eight, counting all our dating years) and I will love you forever more. 

Isla Camille Buck

I'm sure everyone knows by now, but we're having a girl!! We found out on December 20 that the second Buck baby is a sweet little girl :) I thought I wanted a boy until I saw our girl on the ultrasound and I knew right then a girl was exactly what I wanted. I watched her tiny body wiggle around and instantly fell in love. I was already in love with her but just knowing that the wee babe within me was a girl made me love her more :) 

Caden announcing that a sister is coming!!

We finally decided on a name for our little girl!! We have chosen the name Isla (eye-la) Camille (ca-meel). Caden calls her "la la", sooo cute! We have been searching for the perfect name for her. Girls names are so difficult because we wanted to give her a name that would last. Not a name that's adorable for a little girl but ridiculous for a grown woman. And not a name that is a suitable business woman's name but harsh for a little girl. We feel like Isla is just perfect :) I know "isla" is the Spanish word for "island" but the name Isla is actually a Scottish name! We decided on the name Camille because I wanted a very feminine flower name but none really flowed with Isla. However, Camille is an English variant of the flower name Camellia so it's perfect!! Plus, it's a gorgeous name. 

This is a picture of a Camellia flower...it's beautiful! 

Our sweet girl is just 16 weeks away from being in our arms! I'm 24 weeks pregnant now and I feel pretty good! No sickness or nausea, thankfully there's been no back pain (I'm really nervous about my back. It hurt so bad last pregnancy), my headaches have mostly stopped, and while I'm still tired it hasn't been too bad. But I've been horribly congested. It's hard to sleep at night. So far I've gained seven pounds. My clothes don't fit right! I haven't gained much weight but my belly is growing very fast and keeping me from wearing normal pants and shirts! I wore jeans on Saturday morning and spent the afternoon in recovery. 

We got to see our girl on Sunday too! We had an elective ultrasound done and the woman was fabulous. She really took her time and got some good pictures :) Isla was facing away almost the whole time so we didn't get too many of her cute face but we still got some good ones! And she's so dainty, she had her little ankles crossed most of the time! So adorable. 

Her arm is up over her head and her full little lips are parted, ready for mommy to kiss them! 

A little hard to see but this is her face! You can see her little nose and her closed eyes. Her hand is over her mouth.

Her spine! So cool. I love seeing the spine and watching the tiny heart beating. 

Foot! This one cracks me up. Her foot is just sticking right up! So cute!

We have more ultrasound pictures but they're basically all the same. Nathaniel and I can see Isla's face and we know what's going on in each picture but ultrasound pictures are a little hard explain sometimes. I am supposed to get another ultrasound around 34 weeks. My doctor wants to try to gauge Isla's weight since Caden was so big. Caden was 9lb 2oz and they're worried Isla will be just as big. But I did it once, I can do it again :) and I adore chunky babies!! I actually want her to be close to Caden's size. Although, I have to say that his delivery was a little rough because of his size but I'd be more than happy to do it again! I love chubby babies! A little baby is perfect too :) either way, I can't wait to meet my Isla Camille! 

2013💕

So the year is over. Part of me is sad and part of me is super excited. I'm sad because my Caden isn't a baby anymore. I can never, ever get those moments back with him but I would never, ever trade my toddler! He's so much fun! Another reason I'm sad is because we're not in Alaska anymore. I find myself wondering when to drag the suitcases back out and pack up so we can fly home but then I remember that I can't do that. I can't pack up and go home. I am home. I have to tell myself that this is my home and that someday I'll go back to Alaska but for now, this is my home. I'm happy that the year is over too. I'm happy and just beyond excited for the arrival of our baby girl. I cannot wait to meet her and smell her newborn smell, tickle her tiny toes, listen to her soft coos (or blood curdling cries...hopefully she'll stick with the soft coos!!), dress her and put bows in her hair. I'm so excited :) I can't wait to see Caden become a big brother. I'm happy 2013 is over because the wait to move is finally over!! No more feeling anxious about the big move.

This past year was fun. I got to watch my son grow and grow and grow. He runs everywhere and just talks and talks! I love the little person he's becoming. We celebrated his very first birthday. We got to visit family. We got to go to the happiest place on earth--Disney World!!! Oh man, my favorite place EVER! And seeing the excitement in Caden's face was the best part :) We had a wonderful summer, filled with play dates at the park, popsicles, and walks. My first little niece was born and we love her so :) Nathaniel graduated from college and then went straight back! He also made Staff Sergeant! We had family come to visit and then took amazing vacation in Hawaii. We got to visit family and take our first real road trip. And then we finally made it to our new home. What a wonderful year :) sad to see 2013 go but happy to see what 2014 holds!

 He had just learned how to stand up in his crib!

 Playing with all his Christmas loot

 First time playing in the snow!!

 First time standing on his own!

 A tiny, brand new Brielle :)

 Playdate!

 First time at the indoor play area :) One of our favorite places to go!

 He used to stand on his head like that forever!

 First birthday :) and first bite of cupcake/sweets ever!

 He had just learned how to walk a few days before this picture was taken

Poor kid didn't know what all the green stuff was! He LOVED the grass!!

Disney!!!!

Nathaniel's graduation! He got his bachelor's and is now working on his master's.

Birthday pictures were one month late but so adorable!!!

Snow City's tomato soup is so yummy!! But he looks very concerned haha

This is basically our whole summer--playing outside all day!

Rainy days=blanket forts :)

Sea same Street USO tour with one of his best buds!

He loves planes!!!

Fourth of July

First time eating yogurt by himself

Another haircut!

He got to attend his first birthday party!

Some days ended up looking a lot like this hahah

The state fair

Grandpa Tom

Best Buds :)

 Hawaii!!!

 So cute in the outfit Mama Kat got him!

 He loves that tiger. It's his "baby" and he changes her "diaper"

 In Arizona!

 Beagles need juice too!

 First encounter with a permanent marker

 Playing the piano at grandma's (or Ma, as Caden calls her)!

 Tumbleweed!!

 First time bowling

 Sigh...the mascara

Merry Christmas!

 Our sweet girl

And there's my 2013 in pictures. We had lots of laughs and smiles. We had many, many tears. We had a great year. I can't wait to see what 2014 has in store for the three (no, four!) little Bucks :)