Two years ago today we found that the two little Bucks were about to become the three little Bucks. I remember that day clearly. It was a Sunday morning and I already knew I was pregnant. I just knew. I had known for almost a week before I worked up the courage to take a test. I'd been heartbroken several times before and was scared to find out. I remember my hands shaking as I unwrapped the pregnancy test. Three minutes slowly ticked by and when I picked up the test that little pink plus symbol was so bright. I began to cry, then ran back into our bedroom and jumped on Nathaniel, proudly showing him the stick I'd just peed on. We wanted a baby and now we had one on the way! I remember going to church that morning and Nathaniel squeezing my hand. I looked up at him and we smiled at each other, knowing we had a secret. We went to the hospital the next day, I did all the blood work, and scheduled my first appointment. I was 8 weeks pregnant when we got to see our precious baby for the first time. I remember the doctor, who I was able to see for my entire pregnancy (a rarity in military hospitals!), doing the first ultrasound. I cried when I heard his little heart beating. And watching the little tiny jelly bean of a baby dance around in my belly was so amazing.
8 weeks--jelly bean baby!
12 weeks--he looks like a human now!
At 12 weeks I had another ultrasound and the jelly bean turned into a tiny human! It was breathtaking. I had no idea what was to come; all the joy, the tears, the laughter, the love. I knew I loved my baby, from the moment I knew he was on his way, but I had no idea how much love I was capable of. My love for the sweet babe grew each day as he grew. Finding out the gender brought on more tears, happy tears, I wanted a boy!!
25 weeks--our boy!!
And his birth...I didn't know I could do that. I didn't know I could handle such pain mixed with such joy. Holding him for the first time...I thought my heart would burst. He was so tiny but so big and chubby! And now he really is a big boy. He's 16 months old now and so fun. I love my toddler but sometimes I miss my baby. I loved being pregnant even though there were rough parts. I loved every kick, even when he was all the way up in my ribs and back and I couldn't breathe. I loved the hiccups and my huge belly. I miss my belly :) but as much as I loved being pregnant I love my sweet, funny, compassionate, sometimes stubborn, always curious and adventurous little boy so much more. This day in our family history, August 14, 2011, is very special to me. I love my little boy.
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